Last week I went to church with my son and mother. My son was participating in the service, and I went to support. I have been a part of that particular church since I was 8 years old. I have floated in and out their ministries for years as I struggled with my spirituality. Recently I have been going on occasion as my son is now a member of the church and take part in various activities.
I have a weird relationship with church, and I find it extremely hard to explain or comprehend. I believe in God, I have faith in God, and I believe that Jesus died for my (our) sins. That is the extent of my faith and belief. I have a hard time with the politics inside of the church building, and I sometimes have issues with the way people carry themselves inside of the church building. When I don’t like or agree with the way things are going, I don’t deal with it, I remove it out of my life. I don’t try to understand the situation and I can’t always ignore what upsets my spirit so I let it go. I know you are supposed to go to church and the word is your main focus but its hard to focus on the word when you hear negative comments coming from the people around you.
But to be honest I miss the feeling of community that I get while in church. The majority of the people are loving and sincere. The word is uplifting and positive, giving you something to think about, learn from and carry with you through the week. The songs soothes my weary spirit, rejuvenating the mind and body. I may not have all of the answers in regards to my issues with going to church or the people in it, but I do know that my spirit was missing something that has been found inside of the service. Although I may not be able to go every week, I will try to go to church service more often.
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